Category: Trauma Resolution

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The Scariest Disney Villain?

Have you ever watched Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame? It so happened that I ended up watching it the same week I had finished reading “When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High Control Religion” by Laura E. Anderson, PhD and started reading “Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What it is and How to Respond” by Karen Roudkovski. Both of these books have been released in the past year and while I have not yet to finished Roudkovski’s book, I’ve appreciated the insights that both are adding to the conversation around religious and spiritual abuse.

So, why am I talking about these books in the same context as Hunchback?

In the Disney movie, the villain Frollo is shown at the start causing the death of Quasimodo’s mother and nearly drowning Quasimodo before a priest stops him. The priest declares that Frollo’s penance for wrongful death will be to raise the child. Frollo does so, but primarily has him confined in Notre Dame and raised by the priest who saved him. Where my ears perked up, was when we see adult Quasimodo and Frollo begin to interact. Frollo has raised Quasimodo to believe that if he leaves the safety of Notre Dame he will be treated cruelly for his deformity (could be true) and that it’s only through Frollo’s graciousness to take him in after he was abandoned by his unloving gypsy mother, that he has safety and a home. It took me to what I had been reading in Roudkovski’s book about the underlying themes of spiritual (and emotional) abuse being control, harm, and abuse of power. She particularly lays this out in her chapter on “Weaving a Web” which outlines how spiritual abusers draw in and trap their victims. Frollo displays classic actions that abusers use, specifically isolation, grooming (being somewhat kind to quasimodo while creating a narrative that others would not), setting himself up as the sole authority in his life who must be pleased, and so forth. Throughout the movie we also see Frollo engage in unnecessary cruelty and violence, allow Quasimodo to experience harm to “teach him a lesson,” and be consistently frustrated when legal restraints are put on the exercise of his power. Frollo at no point considers that he may be wrong, he sees all of his actions as justified. When he begins to obsess (sexually, but it’s a kids movie so it’s not overt) over Esmerelda, he blames her for being a temptation to him. To Disney’s credit, they set up in the initial song that he is a man that engages in no introspection, and they lean into the theme of what makes a man vs. a monster. As a note, while Frollo is a character with a civil role, because of the overt religious and spiritual themes in the movie and Frollo’s role as guide and catechizer to Quasimodo, I think a spiritual abuse lens is applicable. Roudkovski’s book does a good job of explaining how spiritual abuse can be relationship dependent and applies when the relationship overlaps with spiritual areas of life.

Disney followed a similar arc with the character of Mother Gothel in Tangled, though in my opinion, the magical elements of that story soften the actions whereas you meet people like Frollo in real life. For more on Tangled, here’s a blog post about how survivors of high control religion find Tangled a movie that explores religious abuse and control themes. It was interesting to be with elementary aged children while watching and to begin the process of explaining that this is called abuse and people like this exist.

If you want to understand more about how to recognize the power and control patterns that signal emotional or other forms of abuse may be happening, the Minnesota Power and Control Wheel can be a helpful starting point. Anderson has developed her own religion-focused version of this tool which can be found on page 213 of “When Religion Hurts You.” If you have experienced religious or spiritual abuse yourself, please check out Anderson’s book for an exploration on what that looks like for survivors and Roudkovski’s book to see a clear explanation of what spiritual abuse is, how it plays out over time, and what it looks like in its’ subtleties. As always, if you are experiencing emotional or physical abuse, please reach out to a trusted friend or mental health provider for support and resources.

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Neurofeedback vs. EMDR

When I began working in the mental health field in 2011 the primary tools we had were a variety of talk therapy theories/skills and, if needed, a referral to a psychiatrist or hospital care. There were other tools available, but they were not what new clinicians were being handed. Since that time the field has begun to talk a LOT more about the concept of trauma, how our nervous system plays into both trauma and mental health states, and how to expand the toolbox for clients–this has been a great development and enabled a focus on what is called “trauma resolution” for clients.

With this expanded toolbox, you may wonder how to identify what is best to support you or your client. For this post, we will focus on the differences and overlaps between EMDR and Neurofeedback, and why I would recommend one direction or the other. For full disclosure, I am a certified Neurofeedback provider and utilize that approach in my work with clients when beneficial.

EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy is “a psychotherapy treatment that was originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories (Shapiro, 1989a, 1989b).” In EMDR, clients recall a traumatic or distressing memory while also focusing on external stimuli, typically lateral eye movements, though other forms of stimuli may be used. The theory being that this allows the brain to access necessary pathways to reprocess the trauma in a way that it can be hopefully properly resolved, new associations can be made, and the individual can move forward. More detailed information on EMDR theory can be found here. In general, EMDR is a shorter-term approach, sometimes just 3-6 sessions may be provided to see results, and it can provide a much faster movement towards therapy goals than talk therapy alone for the appropriate client.

Neurofeedback or EEG Biofeedback is a brain-based biofeedback intervention, in which information about the electrical activity in different locations in the brain is collected via electrodes placed on the scalp, and fed back to the client by watching a movie or other audio-visual input. There are several different theories of why this works, but what we observe is that the brain takes this information and auto-corrects to new ways of functioning. Neurofeedback is used for trauma, but is a whole brain intervention, and can be applied to many types of brain-based diagnoses including anxiety, ADHD, autism, depression, sleep disorders, migraine, epilepsy, dementia, and so forth. The general goal is to stabilize and calm the nervous system, which supports healthy brain function. Like EMDR, there is also an aspect where Neurofeedback can be used for trauma resolution and moving therapy forward, but there is also an overall expectation of what I call “moving the baseline” i.e. are the client’s symptoms becoming better managed in a way that moves to a new and healthier level of daily functioning. Neurofeedback is a longer form intervention, typically 20-30 sessions (sometimes more if needed), and nearly all clients are appropriate. For more information on Neurofeedback, you can check out my previous post here.

So, how do you consider what is right for you? I like to think about this in terms of

1) Individual System Readiness 2) What is being resolved

  1. Individual System Readiness
    • How well do you handle triggers of your trauma? Are you able to use skills to calm yourself after difficult emotions arise?
  2. What is being resolved
    • Concrete traumatic events?
    • Complex trauma?
    • Nervous system instabilities such as migraines/headaches, panic attacks, chronic pain?
    • General mental heath?
    • Sleep disorders?

If you are seeking to do specific trauma work and have the ability to recall your traumatic events and manage the emotional impact of that experience, then EMDR can be an excellent tool to support and speed your therapy. If you struggle to manage that emotional impact, or are needing an approach that will pull in more areas of the brain, Neurofeedback will appropriately support your work. EMDR does have applications outside of trauma treatment, but its scope is more focused than Neurofeedback. If you would like to learn more about either approach, click here set up a consultation for Neurofeedback or to be connected with one of my colleagues who provide EMDR!

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Finding Your Quiet Space

What draws you to what you read?  I found myself pondering this with my nose stuck in Alexander McCall Smith’s latest 44 Scotland Street novel.  The books are quiet, winding stories around 10-12 characters who all live in Edinborough, Scotland.  They offer escape by allowing the reader to lose him or herself in the small-scale dramas of a “stolen” teacup or lying little girls in the schoolyard.  Problems and complications abound, but so do growth, restoration, and eventually solutions.

The book creates a calm and warm space, allowing a respite from the many true evils and tragedies in our world.  This is increasingly necessary due to the barrage of information our world daily places in front of us.  Even social media, which once revolved around sharing photos and connecting with friends, has become a highly efficient way to spread information about causes, issues, and seemingly unsolvable problems.  I would guess that for many, this barrage leads to anxiety and sadness over an overwhelmingly complicated world.

At times when anxious and depressive thoughts begin to well up beyond what is manageable, it is helpful to remember that the world is always full of pain and anger and you can choose how to engage.  Taking a time-out from the things that breed those thoughts does not mean that you don’t care or won’t do something in the future.  Be free to shut down facebook/twitter/Pinterest, etc. for a day or two and do something renewing.  Read a book with a happy plot, journal, go for a walk in nature, play with a pet, watch a funny movie.  Find what gives you encouragement and strength in order to re-engage with the realities of a broken world.

For me, engaging in a story that I know will eventually lead to (most) all being right with the world helps me build a space for quiet and renewal–what will your space look like?

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No more foolin’

Well, I hope that you enjoyed a little light-heartedness for April Fools!  Sometimes laughter is as good as any medicine or therapeutic technique.  Thankfully the Sesame Street Intervention Gang retired after yesterday and we return to just enjoying the show.  We’ll be back to business as usual later this week–I think I promised additional Hunger Games postings!

Hope your April is off to a happy and healthy start!

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New Year, New Blog

I am glad that you have found your way to my blog!  Blogging is everywhere these days and as I began forging my way in the world of counseling I wanted to offer a blog as a way for individuals to obtain helpful thoughts on life and relationships.  I soon realized that this was great–but every other counselor was writing about the same thing!  As I put down the book in my hand to think up a solution I realized that my love of literature might indeed be the answer.  In the world of counseling we often suggest books and movies to our clients that we anticipate will either bring help or illumination to a concept.  I think sometimes people are more open to the lessons of stories because they come to them to find escape and entertainment and then accidentally find help, whereas they may be closed off to other voices of wisdom surrounding their situations.  So, I bring to you my thoughts on life lessons within books, articles, movies, and more as I encounter them, with the hope that you will learn and grow from these observations.  This is not a blog where you will find the “5 steps to better ____” but the lovers of the bullet point may skip to the end of my posts for the provided summaries!  For the story lovers, this blog is designed to bring together my love of literature and my desire to promote healthy relationships both with self and others.

I hope for this to be a place for both depth and fun, so feel free to smile or laugh when you think you should!  Look for posts about once a week (initially), and I hope that you will follow along on this journey!